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Boiler Blast Hot Sauces

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South Pole Station—Antarctica. 

Scientists and workers at the South Pole Station in Antarctica have produced new photographic evidence proving the presence of Boiler Blast Hot Sauce in the Southern Hemisphere.  Most experts believe this removes any remaining doubt that Boiler Blast Hot Sauces are contributing significantly to global warming.

Each year, extensive research on the earth’s environment and atmosphere is conducted at the South Pole Station in Antarctica by international scientists.  Until now, there’s been no direct evidence to support claims that Boiler Blast Hot Sauce could be found south of the equator and certainly not in the harsh environment of the Pole.  This  photo shows beyond a doubt that Boiler Blast was present and became a significant warming factor until depleted after a few meals.  













Consumers have independently reported a direct correlation between the use of Boiler Blast Hot Sauces and the generation of a near-field thermal phenomenon. According to public documents, the company has avidly promoted the world-wide distribution of Boiler Blast Hot Sauces as a heat source without regard for the long-term impact on the global climate.  These charges were first raised last year when an unusual localized warming pattern was observed in SW Colorado centered over the town of Silverton.  Critics point to the potency of the peppers and the hidden dangers of allowing Boiler Blast Hot Sauces to be so easily dispersed or shipped anywhere on the planet.  


“Until now we’ve been suspicious, but had no solid evidence that the use of Boiler Blast Hot Sauce was this widespread,” commented Silas Marmot, Director of the World Institute for Milder Peppers (W I M P), an independent, anti-hot sauce group.  “Additional research will be required to understand the implications of all this.  If there’s a grant in it for us, we’ll try to take the heat for some easy money from the government. ”


A number of news sources, real and imagined were used to file this report.  South Pole photo by John Scot Jackson.

New Evidence Links Boiler Blast Hot Sauces To Global Warming

At the world headquarters of Boiler Blast Hot Sauces in Silverton, Colorado, senior executives would neither confirm or deny the findings.  Vice-President of Marketing, Malachy Swonger made a brief statement to reporters gathered outside of his home, denying any knowledge of new evidence implicating Boiler Blast Hot Sauce as a factor in global warming.  “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask my Mom,” he was quoted as saying.

Malachy Swonger, VP Marketing for Boiler Blast.